I HATE MY LIFE, I HATE THIS WORLD!!

WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SO SCREWED UP?!

WHY MUST I ALWAYS GO THROUGH THIS?!

WHY MUST PEOPLE HATE PEOPLE?!

IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR PEACE?!

IS IT SO HARD TO WANNA JUST LEAVE?!

I HATE MY LIFE, I HATE THIS WORLD.....


maybe i should just leave this scene and be remembered for what i've done? or not...

back to dance instead?

lol. not gd gd.... procrastination has kicked in yet AGAIN!! i've yet to start on cleaning my room. y'all might think that "nahhh its okay, its not tat bad.." WELL ITS FREAKING BAD!! pictures will prove it!


the shelf, desk and window..


the amount of dust and dog hair build up.. and that's just under the desk, many more around the place


cloths that are suppose to be in the wardrobe.. but noooooooooooooo, their on a stool!@#$%^


yes my shoes are in my room... and the dust is also collecting on them!! and bedsheets are in a paper bag -.-


and finally the wardrobe!!!

yesyes i agree i live in a pig sty, but the thing is... its alr so dirty thats why all the more i'm bloody lazy to clean it! SHIT THERE IS A DISORDER!!! SHIT SHIT DONT TELL ME I HAVE IT!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

finally i'm back to update! heh. today was a horrible tumbling day.. bad bad tumbling day for me, maybe it was cause i didn't do my "it's gonna be a good tumbling day for me!!" thing. haiz. really bad! nvm next training will be better!!!! I CAN DO IT!! HAH!! okay so today was a side of dion i've never seen before mang! it was scary, and tense and really very stressfull for me. i think i can't take it when my coaches are like stressed up, but the good think was it really kept his calm. i mean he had every right to act the way he did, but he was still calm and didn't flare up like some people would. he stress = ME STRESS! heh. i tried to catch up and all, i think i did a fairly good job BUT still not good enough! it has to be perfect! we can't afford to look sloopy!

yah on a brighter side, managed to watch MAMA MIA and house bunny during the week. it was awesome shit mang! not like OMG AWESOME SHIT! but it was funny la.. heh. and as usually this maniac had to burst out laughing and get noticed by the whole cinema =D. house bunny is a really bimbotic show mang! but damn did we have to watch it with teens who have huge amounts of testosterone, cat calls non-stop man! *roles eyes* at them -.-. mama mia was jsut loads of sing-a-longs i guess... heh. tmr is going to be a dreadful day.. CLEAN MY ROOM DAY =(..... after mths and mths of procrastination, its time i get down to it. =(

oh this yrs hari raya to me wasn't as fantastic as '05 when i really tuned in to the malay stations and listen to all the songs with diana.. anyways couple of links for photos of whats been happening.. too many to up load. heh.

WET WET SENTOSA with magnum

MOONCAKES, LANTEN, SPARKLERS

hey friends. its been a long time. heh. and a lazy one too =P. anyways there won't be photos on this LJ for sometimes =( i stupidly went to reformat my external hard drive when the intend was to actually reformat my laptop!! stupid me. NEHNEH POK!!!!!!

yah and now mommy is like back in brunei AGAIN! and so i'm going to be motherless for 1week. how fun is tat?! NOT!!!! kids if u think not having your parents around is a fun thing, well WAKE UP CALL!! IT IS DEFINITELY NOT FUNNNNNNN!! don't you ever EVER make such a wish! she really doesn't know how much i miss and love her la. but oh wells i hate to express my feelings to her too. works both ways i guess.

anyways on a lighter note, i managed to catch a show bout Florence Nightingale the one who founded nursing and made it into what it is now. and man am i touched! just very sad that somehow i look at nursing today, not every nurse (including myself) is like her as compassionate and willing to go to such an extend for a patient =(. if only i have a heart like hers, or in fact if all the nurses were like her (not all are).. i guess i just have to give it my best!!

hey hey. back again after along time of hibernation =D. everything's been great i guess, but i've been better la! heh. my grades are pretty sucky(well whats new), and i just want to dance, just want to train for cheer, and i just want to tumble!!! in short, i just need more trainings. soon soon =D.

currently over at gramp's place helping her with her bowel prep, she's got OGD and colonoscopy tmr. so gotta bowel prep. heh. nono for those who are wonder from all the gory stories i'v been sharing, its not tat bad! heh. its just her taking oral fleet at certain timing. not the rectal fleet! heh!
( just for laughs to end of this post =D )

looking forwards to training!!! pretty excited for the upcoming events and things are to come =D

wad up its been quite sometimes huh? heh. have been on attachment thats why i haven't been posting(whats new huh?! lol.). have been attached to ward 36 this time round and the best part is i finally get to work with my group mates(hmmm. not sure if that's a good thing for them and i....) and not people i don't know, well other than the Yr1s, accelerated students and stuff la. duh.

so what can i say 'bout this posting? nerve racking, tiring, lost of emotions involved, etc...?(hmmmm.. trying to think of what to put in..) well to start of being on this posting i've seen myself progress a level up as a student nurse and my skills seem to be better? or so they say la. heh. colleges tell me that "chao on" 'bout my work and i'm moving at a fast pace. no "dilidali-ing" for me.. though i sometimes feel that it's not a good thing =p. and my juniors that are attached to me, well lets say one is good the other well... SPEECHLESS! and if u all want to know ones a china girl, the other a malay girl. AND NOOOOO. the china girl is the one who is much better (though still EXTREMELY BLUR!)compared to the malay girl. who in my opinion will suffer in her second posting. and she needs an attitude change towards learning man!

hmmm. i've also grown more attached to my patients and seeing them leave after a whole week of taking care of them really has its' good side and its' bad side. the best part of it all is when your patients tell you that you simply bring joy to them and that they are very happy to see you everyday =D. and that you are gentle and a good student nurse =).

i just feel that i know where i'm suppose to go alr, just not sure of which area i want to be in.. to work with kids or A&E. hmmmm.. nursing dilemma. then again its really not my choice its where the head of the hospital wants to place me =(. on another note, i might be dropping from all my ministry areas to go into this community/ some health related areas for my service to HIM.. just not sure.. anyhos, i just want to be a good nurse! who cares if i suck in my theory, i'm a fast learner in this area. i bet i can pick up very well and fast!!! (cheyyyyyy, positive thinking manggg.. lol!!)

p:s. sry no photos this time.. tooooooooooooooooo manyyyy and too lazy =p.

oaky exams are over, NDP's over, no more DENVERS training on sats... now my sats are pretty empty D= i haveto like find things to do. sighz. i actually have la, but i think i'm tooo lazy to getting down to do it. lol. so guess wat i'm doing now?! lol.

i'm like creating photo albums on facebook cos i haven paid for my flicker acct. so i cant use it, meaning they confiscated a lot of my photos D=.. ohwells.. lets see how long i'll last doing it! lol. i have 0 patience pls!!

btw.. something interesting to me. heh.




i always thought that the railway track at bukit timah was not in use till i saw that!! i was so excited la. lol..

HELLO FRIENDS!!!! sorry for the long absence from this LJ! heh. exams been a killer!!! and wats gonna be a killer are the photos! heh... so far everything seems gd i guess? other then the exams la! heh..

i wont be writing much, so let the photos speak instead of me =D

( it says..... )

hows everyone been lately? good? well if you're having exams like me, i doubt you'd be good =P.. for those who started uni, DON'T COMPLAIN! =D.. anyways been heading over to NP like almost everyday now, practically my new home. lol. i don't even go over to NYP to study. heh. but yes. been going over to NP to study with my cheer mates, can't seem to let them go huh. they can't seem to let ME go! lol. so sad its going to end soon. but shan't think 'bout it, take it one step at a time.. lol. EMO MUCH!! heh.

anyways jiawei's doing his root canal soon! tat poor boy, scare like shit man.. lol. complains and complains of the pain. heh. but i don't blame him la. not everyone like me got high pain tolerance. sides when i was in primary school, i was shit arse scared of the dental clinic la!! LOL! so yah u can see lives pretty boring much!!! heh.

oh and its going to be official next week. i'm in DECS ALL STARS! a new cheer team that will defiantly bring cheer to the next level! thanks to my new coach, i'm getting back my backtuck!!! and i clocked in 8 last training.. like 7 short from the others cos, 1. i still had the phobia after what happen back in DENVERS! and 2. i had to get use to a new technique.. but it'll be good. i'm just scared of the people there. heh. obvious reasons. heh. i just pray i'll/ it'll turn out fine! =D apparently i have no aches from the training! heh.. where as everyone else does=D lol.

andra a.k.a superman this is for you! lol. i totally forgot 'bout this guy when thanking and talking bout all the people i worked with during the 2mths over at MF. heh. anyways this guy really helped me a lot in my flying! he allowed me to perform stunts and skills that i never got to do when i want in DENVERS.. it's just really sad that we might not have the chance to work together after all, was really looking forward to it... THANKS BRO!!

it was an exciting and funny night =D

okay last night was a really bad bad bad and disappointing night for nats, jes and i! we were super stoked about going down to owen road to have $10 ice cream buffet!!! and guess what?! when we got there, the owner say SEATS O__O! *shockedface x123456789876543212345678654321*. we were all uber sianz after that la, even our alternative didn't satisfy us(well for me i know if didn't not sure bout the rest..) hmmmm. we were so read to kill ourselves with ice cream and try EVERYTHING LA!!! ICE CREAM BUFFET LEH!!! FOR $10!!! sheldon made reservations for this coming monday alr!!! AWESOME!! will prolly as waffles to go and try, tats if i can get them to skip training.. i think they are on brake for exams so prolly can!! weeee. heh.

lalala... no photos for this post will have to wait for the following ones =D. i'm going to catch the Olympics men's gymnastics finals in awhile! yeahness. cant wait for that. mean time shall hit the books first...


karenC, cynthia, alice, suz, jane, sue, denise,
joshie, me, fifi, dennis

i will always have u in my mind! don't give up!!

-edits-
PAINGS SIBEH DULAN LA!!! NAH BEH WHOLE MORNING DRILL DRILL NO STOP NOW STILL DRILLING, I HAD A RUDE AWAKING FROM THE DRILING LA.. CHEEBYE!

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE


thank you all for treating me like one of u all, this is not goodbye!!! I <3 you guys!


thanks lenny for teaching me so many things, and imparting certain skills on me..


MF with the army guys who we gave lots and lots of trouble too.. but yet they still had had fun with us (of so i think.. lol)



my failed attempts to taking shorts of the black night -.-... every time they did something they did something awesome, i would be doing something or my cam is in my bag.. damn sucky luck! but i thinl they are freaking awesome la!!! i so love the airforce.. lol!

now that NDP is all over, i won't be going back to magnum anymore.. yes i'm going to miss the juniors there, the seniors and most importantly the people i train and stunt with for this performance. ( KarenC, Cynthia, Sue, Alice, Jane, Suz, Denise, Fifi, Dennis, joshie) i'll also miss the pt and punishment that i do with the team!! heh. i just wish them all the best for tryouts and hope that i'll see them at nationals next yr, if i get to go la.. i'm gonna move on i guess, lets hope thursday will be good!!! heh.

just saw u know MR SNAG a.k.a dennis, was damn cute la after we finish our performance and came back to our holding area.. he cried!! OMG!!! HE CRIED!!! wahahaha. so cute that boy. heh. boy bigbig but then cry. heh. he was super excited/ happy/ everything good that FINALLY all stunts up!! for all the past shows that we've had stunts falling without fail. so finally the actual show we sticked it!! PRAISE THE LORD for tat too!!!
so yah its moments like this that i'll miss!! heh.

photos courtesy of joshie. (LOL!! i stole them from his blog!! )


btoss toe touch ( tis is when they snapping back! lol. look at cyn!! POINT UR FEET CYN!!)


liberty pyramid...


2-2-1 pyramid...

hey friends i'm upating again! heh. finally i get to breath a lil' now that all my projects are done!! no more projects! all the sleepless nights and stress all paid off i guess? not sure how well i'll fair but from the comments given by the tutors, sounds pretty good la i guess.. now all i have to do is cramp, cramp, cramp for exams!! MUGMUGMUG baby!!

heres photos of what happened during the past few days...


hanged out with waffles and new friend kerry after NDP preview... and i finally got to catch a glimpse of the fireworks thats gonna happen during NDP itself. cos the past few NE shows i never got to watch cos i had to like run of for dance.. so yah.. didn't really take much photos la, cos i ended up taking videos. heh



i <3 fireworks and NDP =D

so yap.. tats pretty much my sat la.. then sunday had LG lunch over at ame's (lol. make her sound so happening! lol.) suppose to like celebrate the aug babies birthday la.. yap. and in the end turned into a mass nappin session mang! so much for bring all the board games!!! heh. OHOHOHOH and i finally got to change e-lin's son's dipper!! heh. so excited. heh. but i think i did a pretty sucky job, cos i had to change the dipper in the stroller. and the kid had his cloths on so yah.. SUCKY JOB!!!

and finally today, sue, fifi, and i fianlly holland V-ed after soooooo long... suz came along so yah thats something new.. usually its just the 3 of us, cos fifi and sue will come down when i use to coach AC.. so we manage to do it again! heh. and guess what was the topic for the night mang!!! lol! COCKS AND SEX!! WAHAHAHAHA. me fav! lol

oaky la i think i'm going to end off here.. will continue tmr.. =D


it'll prolly not work out in the end, i should just give up now.. i hate it, i really hate it. why can't i be as lucky and happy as everyone else..

finally all the chionging and stressing over Research Methods presentation has paid off, from the response of my tutor i'm guessing that it went pretty well. but now is a matter of how well i score! heh. but a really big sigh of relief la i guess. HAH! but not for long mang! i still got 3 more projects due *faints* BUT I CAN DO IT!!

training today was okay i guess, didnt do much (well whats new anyways... ) but i'm quite frustrated at the fact that, hey i might be small BUT I STRONG TOO OKAY! i can do things that you all think i can't la.. just let me try only la....

oh as i promised photos to PANG SAI DAY!!!

( Pang sai day!!! )

yes yes i know its been almost a month plus since i last updated *shockedface*. lol. and i guess eveyone has given up on asking me to update and all! HAH!

so whats been happening?

well i just ended attachment 1 month worth of CDC (communicable disease center) and KK (KK Women's and childen's hospital) attachment. there were the good times and of cos there were the extremely awful times there!! and thank GOD i survived and passed it. how well? well one placing was a B the other i donno. so now back in NYP for 3wks to finish up the rest of the remaining modules and then its FINAL SEM EXAM! how awesome rite?! i know! *sense the sarcasm please!* and then its back to CGH for another 3wks of attachment (can my life get anymore exciting rite? i know...)

cheer life?

well good and bad i guess? (*sings* cant wait for august! cant wait for august *sings*) disappointed with a certain group of people/ once family/ once friends (well its more of pissed off and frustrated!) but on the bright side, i have a group of people i must really thank and also for making me feel so at home and wanted!!! but i guess the the end for us is drawing to a close =(... I LOVE U ALL WAFFLES!!! all i want is to be happy and to cheer with people who share the same love for the sport! not to hate!

and talking to my bitch showed me that there are still people who cares! thank GOD for her too! she really is my BITCH!! <3 u MELBITCH! (lol get it!!! MELbitch, like MELbourne the country!! lol)

okay i shall have to stop here to carry on with my project (the dreadful moment of it all!) if not i will never get it done! and i promise i WILL update it everyday!!! and with photos toooo..

WAH! CB after typing so along everything gone!!! bloody hell!

anyways i was saying how school has been a killer (whats new rite -.-) with projects, after tutorials, after lab sessions, after exams(well up coming la). and on top off all this i still have cheer (well i'm coaching now to earn some cash cos i'm stnad on my own two feet now).. haven't been to training lately 'cos i've decided that i don't want to take up any performance 'cos i don't have the time to committe, and since we've got quite a few performances i use the time to do all my projects la.. so tats y i haven been to training. BUT i still think despite all this I WILL STILL FAIL! (lol. i always tell myself that, and GOD always proves other wise! AMEN!). okay with that said about the stressful part of school, really thank GOD for the friends/ buddies that i've had mang! we really stick together la.. planning on how to skip lects, where to go to shop since we skip lects and even help pick each other up and guide each other with lab skill (since exams for it is coming). as much as i hate NYP. LOL. they make it seem slightly better, COS WE ALL SHARE THE SAME VIEW!! WAHAHAH. we are only there cos of the nursing course! other then that, how we wishhhhhhhhhhh......

on another note, meeting my cheer besties only once a week now for dinner seems so weird cos we usually me 2 if not 3 times a wk? for dinner. really need to get some use to it i guess, all the emo-ing we've had together.. lalala.

but what i'm pretty happy and excited about is NDP! lol. so random right suddenly excited and happy for NDP. got reason one la!!! i'm actually part of it! WOOOHOOOOO! i can finally get to stunt with my cheer besties and do a routine together! and on top of that with thier juniors too! today was the first training we're had la! and man was it short.. quote dennis "i guess we had too much fun that time passed by very fast". indeed true my brother! too bad sue couldn't join us, but HAH! there will be next training! unless someone does something to screw things up and i get taken out of the team =(. but GOD please let this all work out tis way! so all share same view on certain things and how things are done maybe thats why we can work well together! guys/ girls please don't give up alright!!

took a good nap when i got home, but was freaking pissed when i was continuously disturbed during my nap! NEHNEHCB! then in the evening when to meet diana for dinner and desert and then movie! lol i finally watch maid of honor.. not a show that you should watch with your best mates who is a girl!! wahahahaha.. but we didn't really think about it la! wahaha. romantic la arh! and we bumped into gerald! OMG!!! HE IS LIKE MY SIZE NOW LA!! oaky imagine me still in my sec 2 size and he use to be wat? 5/ 10 times bigger then me (maybe i'm exaggerating la...LOL. but he is bigger then me by alot la!) NOW HE IS THE SAME AS ME!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! i can almost die la! and i couldn't even recognise him la please! lol. damn funny when he called out to me! heh.

lala.. over all so far not so emo i guess?

bloody hell! if you're (or you all) not happy with me STILL, then just tell me straight. don't go and tell other people in the team and we all know this person has a big mouth, now even people outside the team knows! seriously! WTF might as well you go and post it in the papers or broadcast it over the radio or on the news!

i don't owe anything to you all, after all i gave?! people come to me personally i don't see why i have to report everything... i depend on my own lor.

heel stills funny.. maybe its a crack. hmmm

20 SO?! big fuck arh~

sianz my LCD is getting from bad to worst alr! soon i wont be able to see a thing =(

missed school today, nt cos i wanted to do it intentionally BUT 'cos when i was looking for my clothes after i bathe to iron. BAMB! suddenly i fely giddy and like my head weighed a tone! i just pushed myself la to iron and all, and after i changed same thing couldn't life up my head properly.. so ended up staying hom e =(

haiz worries worries...

so whats been happening? well A LOT!!!

1. my laptop LCD got smashed!!! all thanks to me being SOOOO sharp with my vision

(if you all already realise, the damaged part is the one in white -.-. some people thought that it was part of the wallpaper!)
yah and with that it's going to to cost me $500 for the LCD replacement, and additional of who knows how much for labor cost. like WTF can! and at this very moment, the patch just turned black and its getting worst. why have i not sent it for repair u might ask? well simple, I HAVEN GOT MY PAY! have my pay is going into my LCD =(... bye bye shopping!

2. i ended up in crutches =(. lol. its really a tiring thing okay! and my armpit is like bruised cos of that! heh. it's really kind of a loser thing la, i was coaching so i was practicing a certain stunt with someone. and i fall from it and landed straight on my heel and on a concrete floor O_O. so i cant put any pressure on my left heel. and i must say singaporeans are BLOODY inconsiderate la! EVEN THE BLOODY OLD PEOPLE! like omg can, i'm in crutches/ injured/ handicap and no one bothered to offer me a seat in the train la! i mean i don't expect to get a seat la, in fact i'm okay with standing la. but still! and the old people thing just that they are old they can cut my queue and just push me a side?! CHEE BEH i tell u!

3. something that i can call my own! MY TEAM, MY KIDS!

ACJC has finally formed up their cheer team! WEEE! and i'm the coach! now i got more motivation to re-take my coaching cert! (didn't want to retake it after i failed the first time cos its not going to be international anymore =( but now different story.) so they had their first performance on the 30th of april. it was short but GOOD! all stunts up! at first i was freaking worried cos the simplest of stunt (seating V to DBL base) cannot even go up, and the flyers locking is like SHIT X1000000000000000! and during training trainings success rates of stunts, jumps and dance going up is like 1 in every 10?

BUT during the performance everything went smooth! i'm damn happy la! i only have got like wat? 1 guy for that performance.. but now that they are officially up i'm coaching a all girls team! can u imagine open cat. all girls?! like against DENVERS, MAGNUM, ACES, etc..?! but can one la! train, train, train!!! too bad got no video of the performance la! nessa's friend so stupid don't know how to video the whole routine! sianz!

4. after the performance/ AC track meet, the entire team went over to fish&co. glass house, and OMG! what happens when u go out with a group of cheerleaders and some more all girl squard! lol it was fun la and noisy! (not like i very quiet like tat! ) so we celebrated charis's birthday and my b'day! heh. i'm only with them for a month and they already so nice.. awwwwwww. lol. seriously they've only been together for like 1mth leh, and they act like they've been together for damn long! the team is very close and i'm dman proud of them, they treasure each other a lot! gd gd! i'm the COACH =D!! can't stopd saying that! oh and fifi and sue joined us =)


charis & I!
the team got her 7 underwears for her birthday. one for each day of the week! and they say the days on the panties =D. lol. so cute.
the team got me a NUM party tank that says "i declare myself MR YAY PAPAYA"! cos of the way i coach =p!


the team at glass house!

OHHHH and not forgetting what all my money went to!!! lol. 2 pairs of harvi's and my cruthers!



hmm i think now everyone in AC knows me as the cruthers guy... lol. they dont even know i'm the coach, they think i student. wah thanks!